Monday, March 25, 2013

Trump sacks Claudia Jordan


Trump sacks Claudia Jordan as Omorosa avoids the chop yet again on Celebrity Apprentice


Last week All Star Celebrity Apprentice mean girl Rev. Omorosa Manigault avoided the boardroom chop while La Toya Jackson was banished in a boiling rage.
Now the notoriously aggressive reality star has dodged the cleaver yet again - because project manager Claudia Jordan appeared too frightened to bring her back to the boardroom on Sunday's show.
Fired: Trump sacked beauty queen Claudia Jordan on Sunday night's episode of the Celebrity Apprentice
Fired: Trump sacked beauty queen Claudia Jordan on Sunday night's episode of the Celebrity Apprentice
Survivor: Omarosa avoided the axe once again even through she is disliked by almost everyone
Survivor: Omarosa avoided the axe once again even through she is disliked by almost everyone
The dithering beauty queen instead chose to call in Lil Jon - who had been unanimously praised for his input in the interactive marketing task.
‘What?’ said Trump incredulously on hearing her inexplicable decision.
‘Little Jon was the star. In the history of The Apprentice, 13 seasons, I have only been really surprised a few times,’ he continued, saying that he was his ‘most surprised ever’ was when Omorosa didn’t get brought back last week.
‘Now why are you bringing back Lil Jon? The executives said he was the star…I think it’s a stupid decision,’ scolded Trump, to cheers of agreement from everyone watching.
‘People are too scared to go into the boardroom with her,’ said Alec Baldwin’s youngest brother Stephan from the back room. 
Refusing to admit she was terrified of Omorosa the former Deal or No Deal model didn’t produce a believable excuse for placing her strongest team member on the guillotine.
Instead she tried to get Lil Jon onside in a bid to oust former NBA star and kooky cross-dresser Dennis Rodman.
Deception: Claudia tried to use Lil Jon to oust NBA star Dennis Rodman pictured with Omarosa and Brande Roderick
Deception: Claudia tried to use Lil Jon to oust NBA star Dennis Rodman pictured with Omarosa and Brande Roderick
Favourite: Donald Trump is too fond of Dennis to send him packing
Favourite: Donald Trump is too fond of Dennis to send him packing
‘Please help me. Let’s get him fired, he’s a dead weight,’ the 39-year-old whispered to the rapper.
But Trump is too fond of Dennis to send him packing. While Lil Jon praised the wayward star on ‘being sober’ The Donald talked to the glittery baller with fatherly concern.
‘You want to stay don’t you Dennis?’ He asked.
Adding: ‘I’m really proud of this guy.’
So it was Claudia who left the gaudy Trump Towers in defeat.
‘I feel like Omorosa may have played a little Jedi mind trick against me,’ she said as she was driven away.
Sore loser: Claudia claimed she felt like Omarosa had played a 'Jedi mind-trick' on her
Sore loser: Claudia claimed she felt like Omarosa had played a 'Jedi mind-trick' on her
Making a good thing out of a bad deal: Trump said told Omarosa that sometimes a bad reputation can be an advantage
Making a good thing out of a bad deal: Trump said told Omarosa that sometimes a bad reputation can be an advantage
The show started with last week’s winner Stephen Baldwin presenting his ailing mother with a check for $50,000 for her breast cancer research charity.
The 83-year-old welled-up when she was given the donation. She then embarrassed her youngest son by professing a sexual fancy for ‘comb over billionaire’ Donald Trump:  ‘I think he’s very handsome, I would go for him,’ she mused airily.
‘I think he’s so sexy, if I were younger, I was very thin and had a great figure back then, I would give his wife a run for her money,’ she added while Stephen cringed next to her.
The task was to create an interactive marketing campaign, using a glass truck in central Manhattan, to promote two brands under the hair care conglomerate Farouk Systems.
The prize was up to $100,000 for the project manager’s favourite charity - with the inclusion of a dollar for every Facebook ‘like’ that the team managed to achieve from the public.
Good son: Stephen Baldwin presented his ailing mother with a check for $50,000 for her breast cancer research charity
Good son: Stephen Baldwin presented his ailing mother with a check for $50,000 for her breast cancer research charity
Heart-wrenching: Stephen broke down in tears as he made his mother proud
Heart-wrenching: Stephen broke down in tears as he made his mother proud
Team Power were allocated the Chi brand and Team Plan B, were asked to promote Biosilk.
Team Power decided to make former Deal or No Deal model Claudia the project manager for the beauty-themed task.
Dennis ‘The Worm’ shocked them with a controversial idea of giving public makeovers to ‘five or six homeless women’.
‘Yeah I think that’d be good,’ said the Hall of Famer, who has recently been playing ‘diplomat’ with North Korea’s ‘supreme leader’ Kim Jong Un and campaigning for a black pope.  
Project Manager on Team Plan B was former sitcom star Marilu Henner, 60. She put Stephen Baldwin in charge of marketing for Biosilk and entrusted Gary Busey as accountant.
The former Taxi actress, then proceeded to call her old contacts from her time as judge on the Miss USA pageants.
‘Beautiful women, beautiful hair, what better people to represent the product?’ she said excitedly before ringing her old friends on speakerphone.
Arrogant as ever Stephen interrupted her constantly while she was talking and criticized her management style – branding the intelligent and capable woman as a ‘Nervous Nelly’.
‘I feel as though I am one of the better players and a much more confidant leader than Marilu,’ he boasted.
‘He was very distracting, he kept shouting at me,’ moaned Marilu later.
Leader: Marilu Henner was made Project Manager on Team Plan B
Leader: Marilu Henner was made Project Manager on Team Plan B
Good sport: Marilu butted heads with Stephen's ego but still managed to smile
Good sport: Marilu butted heads with Stephen's ego but still managed to smile
Stephen then had a run-in with laid-back country star Trace Adkins over the slogan. Stephan was ginning for ‘Living Luscious’ but Trace wanted ‘Experience Silk’.
‘What does Trace know?’ Griped the youngest and least successful Baldwin brother.
‘Trace lives in Tennessee and washes his hair with lard,’ he added.
But his insults didn’t change the team’s mind and they went with ‘Experience Silk’. Trace then cussed Stephan with a litany of bleeped out expletives in the interview room later.
Meanwhile Claudia was bemoaning the fact that Dennis wasn’t ‘participating enough’ and that Omorosa and Dennis were taking too long with the prop buying.
‘I don’t understand what took them so long, maybe they stopped to get manicures or more piercings or to get their tails clipped, that’s what gargoyles do isn’t it, get their tails clipped?’ she jibed.
Griping: Claudia was bemoaning the fact that Dennis wasn¿t ¿participating enough¿ and that Omorosa and Dennis were taking too long with the prop buying
Griping: Claudia was bemoaning the fact that Dennis wasn’t ‘participating enough’ and that Omorosa and Dennis were taking too long with the prop buying
Lil Jon came up with a great slogan and had fun dressing as Uncle Sam for their photo shoot. Dennis, who had been moping in the wings, cheered up after having his lips painted with golden glitter.
‘You’re a big black man with gold lips, make love to the camera,” joked Claudia.
Belittled as the ‘weak link’ from last week Gary Busey was appearing to make a reasonable, if painfully slow, job of the accounting.
‘If you can get him to concentrate on one thing he can do it, kind of like my husband,’ joked daytime TV actress Lisa Rinna, 49.
A bit mean: ¿If you can get him to concentrate on one thing he can do it, kind of like my husband,¿ joked daytime TV actress Lisa Rinna about Gary Busey
A bit mean: ‘If you can get him to concentrate on one thing he can do it, kind of like my husband,’ joked daytime TV actress Lisa Rinna about Gary Busey 
Not shy: Relentlessly uninhibited Gary then cracked-up Lisa by accusing her of farting during the taxi ride. ¿They sound like vegetarian farts,¿ drawled the brain damage survivor and Oscar nominee
Not shy: Relentlessly uninhibited Gary then cracked-up Lisa by accusing her of farting during the taxi ride. ‘They sound like vegetarian farts,’ drawled the brain damage survivor and Oscar nominee
Speechless: Lisa was at a loss for words when Gary asked her the inappropriate question
Speechless: Lisa was at a loss for words when Gary asked her the inappropriate question 
Trace was not so kind about the former drug addict  - who once confessed to snorting three wraps of cocaine off his dog’s back.
‘He’s negative,’ said the King of the Hill voice actor.
‘He has little men in his head.’
Relentlessly uninhibited Gary then cracked-up Lisa by accusing her of farting during the taxi ride.
‘They sound like vegetarian farts,’ drawled the brain damage survivor and Oscar nominee, 68.
‘You’re not even subtle about it,’ that’s what’s so funny,’ he laughed while Trace sulked in the corner.
Let them down: Team Power got annoyed when Claudia failed to book Miss USA Olivia Culpo for their gig ¿ allowing Stephen time to book her for his team
Let them down: Team Power got annoyed when Claudia failed to book Miss USA Olivia Culpo for their gig – allowing Stephen time to book her for his team
She messed up: ¿She screwed that up¿and it is a huge, huge critical error,¿ sneered the serially mean Omorosa about Claudia
She messed up: ‘She screwed that up…and it is a huge, huge critical error,’ sneered the serially mean Omorosa about Claudia
Team Power got annoyed when Claudia failed to book Miss USA Olivia Culpo for their gig – allowing Stephen time to book her for his team.
‘She screwed that up…and it is a huge, huge critical error,’ sneered the serially mean Omorosa, who was named one of ‘The 60 Nastiest Villains of All Time’ by TV Guide.
While brainstorming ‘which celebrities have bad hair’ busty Baywatch girl Brande Roderick attempted to book in a Donald Trump look-a-like to walk the crowd.
But the plan was sunk when they realised that ‘the only Donald Trump lookalike in New York’ had just died.
Smooth operator: Lil Jon did a good job of pulling in the girls with some smooth chat in his Uncle Sam costume
Smooth operator: Lil Jon did a good job of pulling in the girls with some smooth chat in his Uncle Sam costume
‘That’s the worst thing I have ever heard,’ said the visibly distressed former Playgirl.
Being unpleasant again Omorosa tried to book in some new models at the last minute. 
‘Under bad management you have to cover yourself,’ said the wife of deceased Green Mile actor Michael Clark Duncan who is now reportedly suing La Toya Jackson for accusing her of ‘pulling the plug’ on her dying husband on last week’s show.
Point Break actor Gary Busey was excited with his role as bubble blower and general crowd pleaser– wearing a silk suit, with a large stain on the back, he trotted around the van repeatedly shouting ‘I’m the angel of silk’.
'Angel': Busey was excited with his role as bubble blower and general crowd pleaser¿ wearing a silk suit, with a large stain on the back, he trotted around the van repeatedly shouting ¿I¿m the angel of silk¿
'Angel': Busey was excited with his role as bubble blower and general crowd pleaser– wearing a silk suit, with a large stain on the back, he trotted around the van repeatedly shouting ‘I’m the angel of silk’
Meanwhile Marilu’s team were basking in the joy of having 20-year-old Olivia Culpo to tout their brand.
To ‘get attention’ for their team moody country singer Trace stood on top of the van to play guitar.
 
‘I don’t know how I will ever expect to go back to the music business with any shred of dignity,’ he muttered.

Oversized magician Penn Jillette, one half of duo Penn & Teller, juggled fire in the crowd for no particular thematic reason but it seemed to please the execs.
Lil Jon did a good job of pulling in the girls with some smooth chat in his Uncle Sam costume.
Dennis donned a silver dress, jeans and trilby for the occasion and milled about hugging members of the public.
Typically in-eloquent Dennis mumbled a load of nonsense when big boss and Farouk CEO asked him what his contribution was for the show.
‘I think it’s very nice…’ he blithered while brandishing some samples.
‘I have been asking them what this product is all about, but you gotta embrace it, you know these are New Yorkers, I’m chasing all these guys here…so good,’ he rambled unintelligibly.
Pint-sized Farouk seemed pleased however, especially when he got to rub shoulders with a couple of pretty models from both groups.
Usually the self-professed ‘baddest bitch in the boardroom’ Omorosa actually praised Claudia in the end.
‘I’m really proud of her, I think she did well,’ she conceded.
Claudia noted Brande, who is part of the USA Rock Paper Scissors League, as the strongest team member.
While saying that everyone worked hard she complained about Dennis and Omorosa’s performance during the shopping phase of the task.
‘In four hours they only managed to buy four things off the list,’ she said.
In the boardroom Trump praised Marilu for managing to keep the peace in her team.
‘You do seem to get along,’ he said. 
‘Even with Gary, everybody loves Gary this year,’ he noted about the mercurial Celebrity Apprentice alum.
But the nutty Leathal Weapon star was still nominated as the weakest link – albeit in a kindly way.
‘He did work hard…he is just a different sort of person with different skills,’ said the Taxi actress and author diplomatically.
‘I agree with that,’ admitted Gary while speaking highly of Marilu’s managing style.
‘She brought us together like a drill sergeant for the marines,’ he purred as he smiled at her fondly.
Stephen however was quick to find fault: ‘I have said even in previous tasks that she gets distracted…it’s like Gary’ he groaned. 
‘I don’t think so,’ intervened Trump.
‘Gary, I love you, but we are not looking at the same kind of people here,’ added the business mogul.
Trace’s hard-fought slogan did not go down well – being labeled as ‘banal’ by daddy Trump’s offspring - Don Trump Junior.
Marilu lead the winning team, and she burst into tears when trump told her she’d earned at least $50,000 for the Alzheimer’s Association.
Despite the loss Coming to America actor Arsenio Hall praised Claudia’s team for their branding and for Little Jon’s contribution. 
Next week Trump will assign another task – will Omorosa be saved again?


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